Had our doctor appointment with the Endocrinoligist doc last week. Went ok. Things are looking up for us. He did an ultra sound that showed my right ovary is still attached to my uterus. I wasn't excited about that. He had me come back to him to do a dye test through my tubes. That was painful. I think I would rather have surgery than do that again. I've been cramping all week and I'm guessing it's from the dye test. Good news is my tubes are open. Bad news is the doc can't tell if they are working but there is a good chance if they are open then they are working.
Infertility is EXPENSIVE. I'm not a fan. I have awesome insurance but of course they don't cover anything to do with infertility. We are just taking it day by day and will only be doing what we can afford. As much as we want children, I'm not ok with going into major debt over it. We still have to live our lives and can't let this baby thing and infertility stuff consume our everyday life. We will do what we are able to do and cross our fingers something works.
Our next step is to start a medicine that will help me ovulate and then once that's in my system we will try the Insemination.
Kind of crazy that until now I haven't had many answers but I feel like we are on the right track and things are looking up. I've been super emotional lately. I hate it. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such an emotional person. You know the girl who feels like she needs to HUG everyone and go out of her way to thank someone by sending a card or making them dinner etc...Yeah that's me. I'm THAT girl. Sometimes I probably go overboard and then expect people to do the same for me and then when they don't bat an eye to see how I'm doing or how I'm feeling I get my feelings hurt. It's dumb. It really is but I'm compassionate and I care about other people probably more than I should. It's my nature and that's who I am and I'm ok with that.
I recently had a falling out with a really great friend. It wasn't my choice. I was honest with her about the way she had been treating me and it back fired and now I'm pretty sure she hates my guts. Still not sure why because I was being honest BUT it's hard some days because she was one of my closest friends and now she's just not there. It's hard to think of all the times I've been there for her and NOW when I need her in my life she just leaves. I have other great friends but they all have their own lives, their own kids to take care of, jobs, etc....Plus if someone doesn't ask how I'm doing I'm not one to bring up the issue in conversation. I figure they just don't want to know or find it awkward to ask.
So that's all for now. Life as we know it...still! Not complaining. Just a lot of things going on and I'm kind of a basket case. I'm sure my hubby wants run and hide for the next few months but I'm trying to mellow out and just be grateful for this lesson being taught. Like I always say, there are much worse things in this world that people are going through. This is just minor compared to some and for that I really am grateful.
Here's to hoping for babies in the near future!!!
