Got shot #5….one more to go and I’m DONE. I’m ecstatic really. I can’t wait. I literally dread going into the doc for these shots. They don’t hurt, I just know the side effects worsen each month in certain ways. I can’t believe it’s almost been 6 months. Time does fly that’s for sure. The other night I was thinking about what’s next for me and my body and it dawned on me that I really don’t have any other options. I HAVE to get pregnant if I want kiddos of my own and I HAVE to do whatever it takes to get there. Then I started thinking what if it doesn’t happen? When will I know I’ve tried enough and come to the conclusion my body just won’t let it happen? I hate thinking like that but I have to prepare myself for the worst and just hope for the best. The doc told me that once my cycle is normal again and I begin ovulating, the best option for me right now would be to do insemination. Insemination isn’t as costly as IVF but I need to do it through an actual fertility doctor and it’s probably going to be more expensive. So on top of Christmas we are also saving money for whatever life brings us in the 2012 year. I have a feeling it will be a very expensive year for us but I’m crossing my fingers and toes and eyes that things will just happen without much effort or $.
I feel better about everything this month. I’m really going to enjoy the holidays with family and friends. I can’t wait to go see the lights at Temple Square with our friends. We planned to do that last year and we never did. This year we will go and make it a point to go. I can’t wait. I’m excited for Thanksgiving at my Mama’s house. Love her cooking. I’m excited to spend Christmas Eve with Jake’s family like we do every year. It’s a house full of complete chaos and I love every second of it. I’m also going to enjoy these next two months without any menstrual cycle. J I can’t change what’s going on with my body. I can only hope that things will be easier than I have in mind. It is what it is….That’s life!
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