The End....

The end…..

Yesterday was December 7^th. That means it was the day of my very last Lupron shot. I am so excited. I went to the doctor & the doors were locked. Nobody was there, so I knocked. A nurse came out and said they close at 4….it was only 3:15….I was confused. The nurse & I went back and forth and she basically told me I would have to come back another day because my doctor’s nurse went home sick and there was nobody there to give me my LAST shot. I was NOT having that. Did she not understand this was important? Very important!! So we went back and forth for a bit & I finally told her I wasn’t leaving until she either gave me the shot or called the doctor back in to give me the shot. She finally gave in but I was super irritated that I was treated that way. She wasn’t nice about it at all. Long story short, she gave me the shot and I went on my merry way.

I feel accomplished. The six months went by pretty quick and I’m glad I decided to do the Lupron. There were a few times I almost gave up on it because it made me a crazy person but I’m really glad I took the shot. I just hope it helped me. I hope I didn’t go through all of that for nothing. I would be upset. I remember deciding to take the shot was such a hard decision. I was so confused and read so many horrible things. I was lucky enough not to have most of the side effects that I read about. Don’t get me wrong, the hot flashes and mood swings were rough. I felt like nobody was on my side. I felt like friends were distant. It was horrible, and I’m sure I will feel those things this month but after this my body can get back to its normal self. I hope so anyway.

Now I need to get my plan in gear. Jake & I went to a seminar last night for Infertility. I was surprised at how many people showed up. Infertility isn’t something that’s commonly talked about so it made me feel good knowing that there really are others who are going through the same thing I am going through. I was surprised that nobody besides me in that room had Endometriosis. I asked questions expecting others with the same problem to pipe up and ask questions along with me but most everyone in that room suffered from several miscarriages and unknown infertility. I know what I have to do but now it’s a waiting game. I have to wait for this last round of Lupron to wear off. My cycle has to get back to normal and then it’s time to try for a baby. I woke up somewhat confused and kind of down today. I feel like I have all of this information but is this what I should do? Will I be wasting my time?

I think the BEST advice I got last night was that I or WE need to continue to live a normal life. Sometimes having a child can consume your whole life. You eat, drink, sleep and work thinking about babies and infertility when you can’t have kids. Luckily I try to live a normal life. It’s always on my mind but I keep silent for the most part. I know my husband doesn’t want to speak about it on a daily basis and I know I probably couldn’t handle speaking about it on a daily basis even though I think about it every day.

It’s so crazy to me how you picture your life and then one day you know it’s just not going to end up that way. So getting the advice that we need to live a normal life put me at ease. The doctor told us not to worry about cost, that people just find a way and it ends up working out. The guest speaker was Mrs. Utah and she has had 5 miscarriages but has been blessed with two babies. She was a breath of fresh air because her story was real. She didn’t sugar coat anything. She told everyone to go on vacations and live life and not to “plan” every moment around having a child. It was good to hear that. I need to remember that. I hope 2012 brings many blessings for my hubby & I. I’m so lucky to have a caring husband. A lot of those ladies husbands in that seminar were so disinterested. It was kind of sad. Some were worried about the refreshments, some were sleeping {literally}, and some were ready to leave in the middle of the seminar. My husband listened intently & was actually very interested. He’s such a sweetheart. It takes a special person to understand this crazy disease. I lucked out. Here’s to 2012!